I'll never forget March, 2009
how cold it was that day
my first day at Wal-Mart
after spending the winter alone
with the power off
living on lentils and corn meal with
the occasional onion
onions were a luxury for a while
I never knew onions could taste that
good
they tasted like sunshine
like spring itself in a soupy brine
of earth and water
like freedom
like the freedom to fail
and that first day at Wal-Mart
I knew in my gut
I felt that first fire in the belly and
knew
that the freedom to fail
was the most important freedom there
was
we spent three days in orientation
staring at computer screens
in a slow state of indoctrination
murdering what was left inside of us
that was good
and holy
while outside the air was bitter cold
the coldest winter in years
I like to think of it
as a sign of things to come
a harbinger if you will
of a great misfortune
but after three days we left the womb
of the orientation chamber
doe eyed lambs to the slaughter
and set out to greet the day
to greet the great big world
of Wal-Mart
where weeping was a way of life
they had painted a picture for us
of a perfect Wal-Mart world
where everything goes according to plan
where everyone lives better
but everyone knew
that world couldn't exist
it was the kind of world
where even the banks were too big to
fail
and all the Barbie dolls came fully
complete
with fully functional labia majora
all the better to fuck you with
but yeah the banks failed
and I failed
only Wal-Mart survived the year of 2009
squatting on the ruins
like the three headed cock that crows
like the slobbering heads of Cerberus
and as I left the orientation chamber
beaten
confused
hungry
tired and bleary eyed
there was still a part of me deep
inside
like a turnip that refuses to be pulled
free
from the fine first earth
that is the soul's first weathering
hole
a part of me that knew and would always
know
what freedom truly meant
because Wal-Mart would always be there
to take it from me.
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